a free Palestine is the horizon.

+ The Smashing Machine, TLOAS reads, a novel rec, a standup rec, & more!

ohio, october. <3

Dear friends,

A thing keeps happening this week where I take a breath and when I exhale I sort of choke on a sob I didn’t know was there. Do you know those weeks, when you are hit out of nowhere with the urge to cry? My chin wobbles and I feel tears sting my eyes and a little mass build in my throat. The moment before this happens, I am not thinking of anything in particular, but on this exhale, when the tears threaten themselves, something will pop into my head that overwhelms the body. I am embarrassed to reveal the mix of these thoughts, but this is the week it’s been, and this is the world we’re in: I have thought about my partner being out of town for a work opportunity and how much we’ve grown since the last time our relationship had to endure distance. I have thought about the end of The Smashing Machine, a just so-so movie about an early MMA fighter, and how the story of Mark Kerr also makes me think of the story of Tonya Harding, which is a story about the violent and fleeting nature of a working-class person’s “making it.” I have thought of the people on board the ships that traveled the sea to Gaza, I have thought of their bravery and courage. I have thought—because it is everywhere—about Taylor Swift’s new album, and the reason I feel close to weeping is because I do not know if it is a bad thing or a good thing that I can connect with the sentiments of romantic love that absolutely gush out of these mediocre-but-catchy, low-key racist and classist songs. I want to cry (affectionate) because love, and I want to cry (derogatory) because billionaires. And then, after the news breaks, after it seems like maybe this time a ceasefire is real, sometimes the crying-exhale is because I think of a video I saw of Palestinian children dancing. They are around the ages of my nieces and nephews, they are ecstatic that their parents told them they don’t have to be afraid of bombs anymore. Upon this thought, the tears aren’t just a hint; upon this thought, they fall.

So it has been a weepy week, but if the ceasefire is real, it has been a good one. Still: the end to the genocide is the absolute bare minimum. A free Palestine is the horizon.

Below: some sharp TLOAS responses, a light-but-not-‘fluff’ novel rec, new indie rock with a surprise Jimmy Eat World cameo, my The Smashing Machine review, a hilariously dark comedy special, and more!

love & solidarity,

raechel

Reading.