meditations on submission.

my essay from the Unruly Bodies reading | on trauma, compulsions, & healing through kink.

grip//release.

This essay came to me last year in one of those lighting bolts of inspiration. It was something, even in the middle of a busy semester, that I knew I just had to write. So I did, in just a couple sittings. My writing group really loved it, which motivated me to pitch it to a handful of creative nonfiction pubs. Unfortunately, no one bit, so the doc sat untouched in my google drive, mainly because it didn’t seem like it fit with the vibe of the newsletter. When I was asked by

Margeaux Feldman

to read something on the theme of “Unruly Bodies” for the AWP-adjacent event, I knew this piece on doing everything in my power to make my body, well, ruly, was the perfect choice. At the event, a few people asked where they could find the writing in print and I promised I’d put it in the newsletter after all. <3

A content note: this piece includes details of eating disorder behavior, including food tracking and over-exercise. It also includes sex stuff! As always, if you are my family member or a student, I invite you to skip this one. :)

Because it’s a more vulnerable piece, it’s going below the paywall. (But if you’re one of the people who asked me for a copy in LA, please just email me and I’ll give you access!)

meditations on submission.