my essay won an award & i want to share it with you.
radical love note | lists, links, recommendations <3
Dear ones,
We’ve been back in the states a week today, and the resettling has involved: nesting; walks; tension; crisp salads; interviews and possibilities; the overwhelming emotional highs and lows of a brain tumor diagnosis + capitalist medical system and its infuriating bureaucracy; cold coffee; finally, doctor appointments (this is great news!); catching up on work and emails; lots of kitten cuddles; etcetera. There is so much to say, but we are in the thick of it, and it’s a bit too dense for any kind of poetic reflection right now. That’ll come in time, for both of us, I’m sure—our writerly impulses wouldn’t have it otherwise.
In the meantime, I have something for you. It’s an essay that is maybe closer to my heart than anything I’ve written in a long time. It’s about something I haven’t talked about at all on social media or in the newsletter, and I’ll tell you what that is by way of a content note: this essay includes a description of pregnancy loss.
If you’re surprised, you’re not alone! This was not a planned pregnancy. But it was a pregnancy, nonetheless. And the story of it involves so much magic (primarily from cats) that I had to write it down. I had to tell you about the magical experience I had in my belly this past winter, I had to fill pages with it. And I held onto it and held onto it and held onto it. Then I submitted it somewhere and it got rejected. Then I submitted it a second time – this time to the Gordon Square Review Ohio Writer’s Contest for Creative Non-Fiction, whose winner would be picked by Hanif Abdurraqib (truly one of my favorite writers of all time) – and then I won.
It would mean so much to me if you read the essay (if the subject matter is safe for you). It was a really intense experience, but I’m able to look back now with great warmth and a lot of gratitude.
Recommended reading/watching/listening is below, as always.
I love you.
love & solidarity,
raechel
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to radical love letters to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.